Plots

This year is almost ending, and I have a lot of plans for next year. They include traveling, working (but where, is the question here), possibly moving, and most importantly: writing. I am so close to being done with just planning my book. I've already started the writing process, but I know it's going to be a long and rocky road to the finish line. 

I am giving myself a year. I'm hoping to finish writing it within that time, but I don't want to push it. If needing more time means a better outcome, then I will take more time. But I do hope, that during 2014 I can offer my script to a publisher, or publish the book on my own. When it comes to writing, 2013 is going to be exciting, nerve-wrecking, inspiring, frustrating and thrilling. This project will also give me something to write about in here: I will keep you posted on how I am doing. I am not telling what my book is about, nor will I give anything else away. But I will get back to you. 

I saw a card recently, that would be perfect to give to me. Sometimes it's fun to find things like that :) 

It said:

"I can't wait for you to write a book, so I can finally know what you have been thinking about for the last few years."

Some of you will know :) 

Slow Motion

I went to the movies tonight. I can't help but float after I've seen a movie that somehow moves me, touches me, impresses me, inspires me. I can't help but to get lost inside my own worlds, various places my mind has created over the years, and feel like I'm in a world that's full of magic. 

Because I am. 

I feel like I have to write now. But at the same time I'm afraid of ruining the perfect images in my head if I were to write them down. The lack of confidence in myself is sometimes overwhelming, and something I have to learn to deal with. 

I'll write.  

Keeping it real, weird and weirder.

I believe I'm not the only one who thinks it's so friggin' unfair how time flies when you're having a good time.

I have only 3 more weeks left until I have to return to Finland. 

My time here in Portland has been amazing. I've got a ton of new friends, new experiences, new perspectives, new memories... I believed from the very beginning this would be an experience of a life time, but never did I think this whole thing would have such a huge effect on me. I knew I would come back to Finland so much richer than what I was when I left, but there's something I didn't expect.

I didn't expect to find myself in Portland. 

In Portland you can be whatever and whoever you want to be, and no one will say s**t about it. Be a hipster, be a hippie, be a nerd, a jerk, an artist, weirdo... You'll fit in. You have to be very, very strange to stand out here, and it's only uncool if you try too much to be something you're truly not.

To Thine Own Self Be True. 

I will be facing a big challenge in Finland. Trying to maintain my personality the way it really is, and not falling back into my old ways, when I was the quiet one in the crowd, afraid of big changes and afraid to stand out too much. That's NOT ME! If you ever see me starting to follow my old patterns, feel free to give me a good ol' slap in the face. 

"People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say: 'No, this is who I am'. You want people looking at you differently, make them." 

- A quote from "Once Upon A Time".

I want to be me from now on. 

Keeping Portland Weird while I'm here,

-i

<3

Maybe not a professional, but on my way!

When does one have a right to call themselves a writer?

I'm not a published writer, but I still think of myself as a writer. 

Whenever I watch movies, I can't help but think of how I would write some particular scene. I'm not even kidding, I do it all the time, and it's actually quite entertaining. 

I feel like I think like a writer does. 

When I read a book, I fold the pages that have chapters/sentences/phrases/dialogues/monologues/anything that I feel like will be useful to me later. I'm not talking about copying someone else's work, because that's about as unethical as you can get, but learning from the people who have already achieved the goal that I've set for myself: they've published a book. 

Recently I bought a notebook from Powell's (you can find a pic on the post 'I Heart Powell's') and I've turned it into a planning-book for the project that I've been working on for the past few years. That's me, organizing my thoughts on paper for the first time. I am absolutely stoked and so excited to see what will become of it. So far I've explained the plot in about 10 pages, and I'm not finished yet. 

And this is me, a person who becomes overjoyed about a notebook.

Guess I am a writer :)

I Heart Powell's

I went to Powell's yesterday, and... well, I went crazy. People really shouldn't let me go into book stores. So it's not my fault. 

I've seen the movie 'Nights in Rodanthe' and now wanted to read the book.  I bet I'll cry... 

I don't go crazy about just books... notebooks, too. I've wanted to have this ever since I first saw it a few weeks ago, and now finally bought it!!

I actually find blank pages very inspiring. Anything's possible when there's no ink on them :)

all me

I can't help but love my Macbook. 

Or, you know, my skills on pimpin' it. 

I lovelovelove it. I love how it's so me right now, and how it inspires me. 

It may be so mainstream right now to cover your laptop with stickers and stuff, but I think if you do it right (faithful to your own style and voice), even something as mainstream as this becomes individual and that's the whole point, right?

September Resolution

Yo! Sorry for neglecting you (again). I will return to blogging asap, maybe even tomorrow. When I have more energy. BUT, here's a GUEST POST written by ANONYMOUS. Someone promised to fill the gap in this blog and I gratefully allowed that :) Enjoy! 

As I was laying in bed I had a revelation.  I am going to the gym on Saturday to get healthy/look good for the rest of my life and October 19th.  So I need to purchase a membership and some new outfits to workout in.  I am also going to drink a bottle of water before I go to bed.  I don't have a workout plan but I know someone who does...thats good enough.

xoxo, 

me

My fingertips are black!

Hi guys!

Today I finally washed my floors. At first I was, to be honest, pissed because I didn't see the difference and was wondering if it all was for nothing, not to mention that stupid floor mop kept dragging dust with it, even though I had just vacuumed. Seriously, where did all the dust come from... Here's me, the master of cleaning. If you know me personally, you know what I mean. I really, really, really don't know how to clean up. But, after the floors dried out and I replaced my mats, I admit it looked a bit better. Especially in the kitchen, lol!

I've got less than a week before I leave Finland for the USA, and I've just been grazed with all that I have to do before I go. Sorry for the lack of posts... There's another reason I've been neglecting you guys, and it's this one:

I've been really trying to get back into the world of drawing, and so far I'm happy with myself. But, it does take its toll on this blog, since now I spend more of my time doing something else than writing here. Sorry :( I will try to post more often. 

I'm actually very happy with this drawing, I even did a fine job with the nose!! Always had troubles with noses. And hair. The hair sucks in this one, too. But, practice makes you better. If there are any artists reading this, I'd be happy to receive some tips!! 

Thanks for sticking around :)

Let me paint you a little picture...

Today I watched a movie, that I liked, but wouldn't admit to anyone I actually watched it. It's one of those teenage movies that you don't really need your brain for. 

I'm not going to tell you the title of the movie, but here's a quote that I loved:

"Artists feel things differently than regular people. Artists can be emotional and make the audience feel what they're feeling, and that's what it's all about."

If you recognize the movie, let me know. 

That's so right, though, isn't it? I've always been careful about calling myself an artist, but after really thinking about it, I can honestly say that I am. It may not be obvious. You might really have to dig deep to see it, but that's what I've always been. 

I've been told that I got my artistic abilities from my grandmother (mom's side). It's a shame I never got to know her. She died when I was three years old. I only have one memory of her. We're sitting at her kitchen table, me, my mom and my grandma, and she smiles at me. She's wearing a blue gown. Possibly a dress or a night gown, I don't know. 

I've been told she was musical and that she could sing. And when she was given a pen and paper, she did an amazing job drawing. I got the latter, but I've been neglecting it for a long time. Sometimes when people expect you to do something that you're naturally good at, you lose the will to do it. I never wanted to make drawing a career, it was just a hobby for me. 

Now, if I can only find the time, I think I'm ready to start over. I will never turn it into a job. It will always be a way to pass time, and a form of therapy for me. Can't afford a shrink ;)

Not my best by far, not to mention it's been so many years since I drew that, I can't even remember. Which only shows, that I have spent too much time doing other stuff besides drawing. I'd like to get back to it. 

Don't forget the poll! You still have time to vote!

-I

Meet the woman, who started it all.

Now starting: the interviews!

And who better to be my very first interviewee, than my own mother, Anne. 

Here's to shed some light to my passion of traveling. You can blame her. 

Note: all answers are direct quotes. 

Describe yourself, please?

I'm nice and fun. Sometimes I can be a b*tch. Let's say I have a great sense of humor, a sharp tongue and a good situational awareness. One of my best qualities is my ability to organize anything, and people envy me for that. There are bad qualities, too. I'm very critical. I'm always criticizing something. Sometimes little things piss me off. I'm quick on my moves, so when something doesn't go as planned, you'll know it. But mostly, I think I'm good company. 

What do you do for living?

A lot of things. I work as a receptionist at a private medical clinic two days a week. Every now and then I drive a cab, but only on weekend nights. A couple of times a year I work as a tour guide and interpreter on various trips abroad. I'm also an interpreter for the deaf and organize their free time activities when I go to work for this rehabilitation center for two weeks, for two, three times a year. And I'm Finnish to English, speech to text interpreter as well; this job also allows me to travel. 

When did you first travel and where?

My first trip was a 10-day trip to Great Britain with my brother. We stayed in Wales, my brother and I had pen pals who lived next door to each other in Swansea, and we visited London with them a few times. I was 17 and my brother was 16. 

What got you interested in traveling?

I think the first trip sparked everything. Around the time, Inter-rail was gaining popularity, and after my trip to the UK, I traveled around Europe for six summers in a row, inter-railing. That was a real life-school. 

How many countries have you visited?

I've been to 39 countries so far. In a couple of weeks I'll be going to China for business, and that'll be my 40th country. 

What's your favorite destination?

Hard to say, but probably London. I've been there for about 30 times. The UK was the first place I ever traveled to, so I guess it holds a special place in my heart. 

What's so great about traveling?

Everything. Every time is a survival game. It's wonderful to eat foods from different countries, but what I love the most is the history and the sights. I "collect" UNESCO's World Heritage Sites. 

What made you take your kids with you abroad?

When the kids were small, the only option to actually get to go abroad, was to take them with me. Iira was 3 months old when she traveled to Cyprus, and her brother was 7 months when he traveled to Greece. And that's how it started. We went somewhere every year. The kids got used to going abroad every summer. It took all our extra money and vacation time. 

What's your best experience? And the worst?

There's no best. I've had amazing time on my trips. Each of them has their own special thing. But the worst experience is my only bad experience. I was inter-railing, and this time with a partner. I always traveled alone back then. We planned our trip for six months, every night. Two days in, and we were fighting about everything. We had different views on everything we wanted out of that trip. We even got back home a week earlier than we were supposed to. 

You've always supported my traveling a lot. Why?

Traveling widens your horizon, and that's what I've tried to teach you. That's why I support it. It takes its toll on your wallet, too. It gives you plenty of life experience and makes one to do something else besides sitting at their kitchen table, spying on neighbors. We are the people, who do everything by themselves.

Do you trust me to be all right out there?

The experiences alone have taught me, that my kids will be ok. I don't worry about them like that. They'll be fine. And so what, if there's problems? There's always help here at home, and abroad. 

What languages do you speak?

I've always gotten by with English, but I do speak some Swedish and German also. Had I been a smart kid, I would have studied some Spanish. 

Would you like to live abroad some day? If so, where?

Yes, I can see myself living abroad. But only after I'm retired. Tuscany, Italy, would be a good place. 

Thank you, mom, for granting me the opportunity to share your awesomeness with the world.

<3

"If I fall asleep now, I'll get 7 hours of sleep..."

What do you think about when you go to sleep?

I rarely go to bed and not think of something in particular. I usually think of something nice; something that I have to look forward to, something that's already happened, something that I wish would happen but most likely it never will. Sometimes I play conversations in my head -imaginary and real- and sometimes I'm just so thrilled about some new thing that I've decided to do, that it's all I can fill my head with, and eventually I fall asleep and my thoughts turn into dreams. I kinda like it. In the morning it can be pretty exhausting though, because it feels like I haven't had any sleep at all; all I've done is thinking, when it's actually not true. But there are mornings, when my phone's alarm clock interrupts my awesome dreams. Then I just hit the snooze-button and continue dreaming from where I left off. I'm not kidding :) I can actually do that. 

There are many nights, when I'm just so tired that I pass out immediately after my head hits the pillow. They are few in between, though. I have way too much stuff going on in my head to fall asleep right away. One of my favorite things to do, is go through the story of Ava, all the twist and turns. Over and over again, until I have it all figured out. I haven't made it there yet. Almost :)

So there you go. Ava is the name of the main character in the story I've been working on. That is all I'm willing to let you know at this point. 

I can't wait for the moment I get to tell you I've started the writing process of my book! 

Love,

I

P.S. Don't forget to answer the poll! Your votes determine most of the future posts, remember that :)

Did I miss my youth?

I've always been a good girl. You know, the kind that never ditches school, tries her best, obeys her parents, feels guilty for like a month after snapping at someone. I never went to bars or clubs under 18, though my friends from school tried to persuade me. "Your looks are going to waste!" they would say (I've always looked older than I truly am). But I never went. I liked being at home with my family, doing something low key, like reading and drawing. 

You know how some people don't take the best of their prime years... they sail through them and later on, way later, they suddenly get the urge to do the things they never did when they were sixteen. Lately I've been having the same feeling. Or I've been fearing of having that feeling. In a very short period of time I've become more sure of myself than I've ever been before, and thus gathered up more courage to be more me. I've also come to understand others better, and their way of expressing themselves. 

I'd like to dye my hair all pink, just because I love the color and because I feel more bohemian than ever. I think I've always been somewhat of a hippie. I won't dye my hair, though, so you can save yourself from the mini heart attack :)

I've been wanting to get a tattoo for a long time. I even know which one I'm going to get, if I'll ever have the money and the guts to ink my skin permanently. It's very small and I would get it in a place that's visible enough, but very easy to hide as well. 

I like to play with my thoughts. I like to think of myself actually doing this. But right now... I'm too much of a chicken. And broke. And I'm happy as a brunette. 

I don't know, if my prime years are behind me. Maybe I'm living them right now, or maybe they're still ahead of me. Either way, I don't think I missed them. I never did anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'm glad I was a good girl. Still am. My writing's still my main way of expressing myself, but who knows... maybe someday I'll choose more obvious ways to show my true colors. 

Me. Just me.

Yeah, so I admit I've had my share of small panic attacks relating to whether or not I've accomplished enough in my life. I'm 23 years old, and sometimes I feel like nothing's not enough. Most of the time, fortunately, I feel like I've done pretty well.

I've traveled in a lot of places, ever since I was a baby. I learned some English before it was a mandatory subject at school, and then went on learning, so ever since I was 10-11 years old, I've managed to communicate in English on my own, without much help. It has encouraged me to test my limits abroad. I can travel alone in the biggest cities in the world, and know I have what it takes to survive, and survive well. I've made some very useful contacts overseas, if I may say so myself. I have been blessed with common sense. I tend to be bossy sometimes, but hey, someone's gotta keep it rolling. I take after my mother on that one. 

I have friends, who enrich my world with their own backgrounds, stories and experiences. 

I'm a daughter of two people, who support my desire to explore the world. 

I have a brother, whom I love so very much, and whose occasional special needs make him the most special guy in this world. 

I'm not much of a talker, unless you get me reallyreally drunk (don't), but I've come to realize that blogging is the easiest and the best way for me to say things I may not be comfortable saying to someone's face, even if the things I want to say, are positive. 

I've gone crazy with my friends, laughed so hard it actually hurts, cried my eyes out, attended concerts of world-famous singers', screamed in awe, screamed in anger, loved, hated, embraced, gotten up from the bottom. I have lived. 

For a 23-year-old... could be a lot worse :) 

Love, 

me

The 100th!!!

I wanted to add 100 exclamation points to the title, but oh well. 

So, here we are! My first big mile stone! The 100th post. 

Shoulda baked a cake...

Shoulda prepared a speech. 

I am happy writing and knowing there's someone somewhere reading. Thank you for that!

Looking forward to sharing the upcoming hundreds of posts with you!

<3

Pandemonium Goes Global!

A huge thanks to all my readers!!! Also to the ones in countries not represented here; it seems blogger doesn't register countries with fewer than 4 page views. Those include Nigeria, Malaysia and Sweden to name a few. Thank you for reading!!!

-Iira

Q is for QUOTES

O is for OREGON

Might just be wishful thinking, but here's what I'm hoping to see:

About Writing

I have been writing stories, songs and poems since I was ten years old. That means I have kept a hobby for almost thirteen years. It's by far my most beloved thing to do, so I wanted to share something about it with you. 

I'm not a patient person. I want things done now, not in the next five minutes. This has been a bit of a challenge for me when it comes to writing. I used to be even more inpatient than I am today, so what would happen was that immediately after an idea presented itself, I would start writing it. I was hoping to develop the story as I wrote. I would come up with the names of the characters along the way.

Never happened.

As you can imagine, I eventually got frustrated and didn't finish anything I had started. Occasionally not being able to come up with finished pieces I would give up writing for a few months. I really wish I could go back in time and slap the stupidness out of myself. 

Building patience and learning to take things slow has been the biggest change I've had to do over the last couple of years. I'm still hatching this one idea in my head -been doing so for almost 2,5 years- and I'm still not ready to start writing it. This is the best thing I can do about it, just let it stew. Also, building the characters is very important. Let's say, for example, that I write a story about a 35-year-old man. Without creating a "voice" for the character, there's a risk I'll end up writing about him as if he was me. Get it? I would be writing about myself as a 35-year-old man, he would do things as I would do them, not as he himself should do them. So you can see, it's important to make sure the characters have their own voice, their own characteristics, their own personality. It doesn't matter if you don't agree with the character. If you find yourself in a situation like that, it just means you've succeeded in creating a whole new person. 

Writing can be overwhelming, no matter what you write. Sometimes you can find yourself so deep in it, that the problems in your imaginary world become problems in your real life. There's a saying that goes something like this: You'll know you're doing great at your job when your personal life is going down the drain. No matter how much I love to write, I'll try to maintain a sense of reality of some kind :) Sometimes I do live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here. 

I've been writing since I was ten. Does it make me a professional? No. 

But I'm not a rookie either.

P.S. One new reader! Welcome! :)

Speak UP! Share!

Ok. I want some interaction. Stalking is great, I love being stalked (only on blogger, peeps), but now let's see who has the guts to talk. 

Here are various phrases and questions. Pick one (or more) and answer/react to it by leaving a comment. 

(Seriously, I won't bite, you know...)

1. I have two more shifts at my current job. I'm kinda sad :(

2. The best book I've ever read is...

3. Once I was watching a documentary about lions, and one of the cubs was partially paralyzed. The poor thing was just dragging his back feet trying to keep up with the others, and you could see he was miserable, because there was only so much the others could do for him. I became mad at the shooting crew for not helping it. The last image was of the ground, the dragging marks the little lion had left on the dirt. Then the marks stopped. He couldn't follow the others anymore, and some other animal must have killed him. It made me cry, I hate seeing animals in misery. 

4. I think Lily and Robin are kinda annoying in the show How I Met Your Mother.

5. I have a love-hate relationship to NYC.

6. Which Starbucks beverage is your favorite?

7. The greatest thing that's ever happened to me is...

8. If Hunger Games was real, would you volunteer for someone?

9. I'm very interested in self-publishing. Any ideas/recommendations/thoughts?

10. I love peanut butter&jelly sandwiches... yet I haven't had one in almost four years. What's wrong with me?

There ya go... Go nuts.

xxo

fire

This is the best time of the year hands down. The trees still have leaves and they're multiple colored, the air is brisk and perfect. And when the sun is still just above the trees it looks like everything is on fire. I cherish these moments especially this year when it's been raining 6,5 days a week. Who wrecked my fall?!

A picture I took about a month ago while driving home (I know -don't use your cell and drive) So pretty! And then it rained.

Fall has always inspired me. I like it when it gets darker earlier and I can just curl up on the couch and read -and most importantly write. This fall has been a little different... I'm going around town from one store to another buying note books and pens, I'm keeping Microsoft Word open on my computer all the time and considering buying a new laptop no later than next year and I can't wait for my journalism course to start next month. In other words, I'm doing everything but writing. I'm running out of fresh ideas! I'm going over all the old ones in my head and my recent writing includes random scenes from whole stories I've been planning over the last few years. There's absolutely no harm in going through something you haven't worked on for a while, but I feel like I'm making all this room in my head for new ideas and they're just not coming... BLAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

So again: who wrecked my fall? The answer: I did. With too much expectations. My advice for myself: embrace the change and take the best of it. Yay. Easier said than done. But I'm working on it.

xoxo