July 25, 2012

Did I miss my youth?

I've always been a good girl. You know, the kind that never ditches school, tries her best, obeys her parents, feels guilty for like a month after snapping at someone. I never went to bars or clubs under 18, though my friends from school tried to persuade me. "Your looks are going to waste!" they would say (I've always looked older than I truly am). But I never went. I liked being at home with my family, doing something low key, like reading and drawing. 

You know how some people don't take the best of their prime years... they sail through them and later on, way later, they suddenly get the urge to do the things they never did when they were sixteen. Lately I've been having the same feeling. Or I've been fearing of having that feeling. In a very short period of time I've become more sure of myself than I've ever been before, and thus gathered up more courage to be more me. I've also come to understand others better, and their way of expressing themselves. 

I'd like to dye my hair all pink, just because I love the color and because I feel more bohemian than ever. I think I've always been somewhat of a hippie. I won't dye my hair, though, so you can save yourself from the mini heart attack :)
I've been wanting to get a tattoo for a long time. I even know which one I'm going to get, if I'll ever have the money and the guts to ink my skin permanently. It's very small and I would get it in a place that's visible enough, but very easy to hide as well. 
I like to play with my thoughts. I like to think of myself actually doing this. But right now... I'm too much of a chicken. And broke. And I'm happy as a brunette. 

I don't know, if my prime years are behind me. Maybe I'm living them right now, or maybe they're still ahead of me. Either way, I don't think I missed them. I never did anything I wasn't comfortable with. I'm glad I was a good girl. Still am. My writing's still my main way of expressing myself, but who knows... maybe someday I'll choose more obvious ways to show my true colors

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